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Why did the chicken cross the road, and other questions

Who cares why chickens cross the road THERE when it should suffice to just know that THEY DO?
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Why did the chicken cross the road, and other questions

Now that spring break has sprung and so has the traffic, perhaps we should revisit that age-old question, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” or more specifically “Why would a chicken cross the road THERE?”

Of course, there are many possible answers but I think “to get to the other side” pretty much says it all. Really, it’s no yolk. Who cares why chickens cross the road THERE when it should suffice to just know that THEY DO?

Crosswalks are much like public garbage bins. While there is no guarantee that chickens will use them, it’s still a good idea to have them. I believe most of us will do the right thing if it’s made easy, but if there is no bin provided some will be tempted to litter.

If there is no traffic on the road, most of us will commit the crime of jaywalking (no offence to jays) and cross wherever we please. But when the traffic is heavy, we’re grateful for a specified crossing place so we can (for whatever reason) “get to the other side.” If there is no crosswalk we must “play chicken” with motorists and risk becoming road kill.

So, why do our elected representatives reject the idea of a crosswalk or a garbage bin THERE? How much scratch could this possibly cost? How can we teach our chicks to cross at the crosswalk or put their litter in the bin if there are neither?

Furthermore, if the rulers of the roost can justify withholding such basic amenities that are standard issue elsewhere, why are they too chicken to crow about it (no offence to crows) and instead hide their heads (no offence to ostriches) in the sand? Why has all our squawking gone unanswered? Does this have more to do with pecking order than common chicken sense? And finally, must we wait until the big rooster fight in November to have these questions answered?

David Work

Lake Cowichan