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Column: Happiness is different when we’re older

As we age, happiness tends to increase versus middle aged adulthood.
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Seniors find happiness in different things as they age. (submitted)

By Chris Wilkinson

You ever wonder how you could make yourself happier? You ever read and reflected enough to figure out what your happiness button is?

In my research it’s really three things that make us happy in middle age — it’s having a sense of purpose, with progress; it’s having an attitude of gratitude; and most importantly, it’s having key relationships in our life that are fulfilling, positive and loving. But what about in our aging loved ones’ population? Is happiness boosted by other things?

As we age, happiness tends to increase versus middle aged adulthood. It’s commonly regarded that the ‘U-shape’ model of happiness applies — meaning we are happy when we’re young, less happy through adulthood, then happier again in seniorhood.

We could suppose that the stressors of professional and family life, along with learned dissatisfaction, paint the picture of the adult “bottom of the U” lower level of happiness, but let’s stay focused on the increased level of happiness as we age in to seniorhood. What do you think causes that?

I think what makes us happy as we age changes. Not from the conceptual level, but from the operative, or working, level. Let me explain. You see, it’s not activities like making more money, going skydiving, seeking adrenaline, watching scary movies, intense relationships, the tropical trip of a lifetime, Halloween parties and the like that seniors seek for happiness. It’s really about finding happiness in the everyday things. The familiar and predictable events.

In my experience with my own family and working with seniors for the last 10 years, it’s things like volunteering and helping others, having a nice conversation with someone, going to church, a nice meal, and visits from friends and family members that make many seniors most happy.

And what’s most interesting, bringing it full circle, is that there is a parallel between what makes middle aged adults happy and seniors happy on the conceptual level. Volunteering and helping others represents the sense of purpose. Going to church may represent the attitude of gratitude. And more frequent visits with friends and family members certainly represents fulfilling relationships — the most important piece in lasting happiness. Although the activities and methods of achieving happiness are different as we age, the conceptual pillars are the same.

And lastly, theory aside, we know that in fact many seniors are not as happy as they could be. Many seniors nowadays are not fulfilled with their relationships, as loneliness and isolation are on the rise in the senior population. Perhaps finding ways to increase frequency of visits with loved ones is a key for both age groups.

Chris Wilkinson is the owner/GM for Nurse Next Door Home Care Services for Cowichan and central Vancouver Island. For more info visit www.NurseNextDoor.com or for questions or a free in-home Caring Consult call 250-748-4357, or email Chris.Wilkinson@NurseNextDoor.com