A tongue in cheek look at physical distancing

Birds, remember: only ONE at a time at the bird feeder!

A tongue in cheek look at physical distancing

In view of the coronavirus admonitions to sequester at home and avoid contact with others as much as possible, I’m sticking to the same small social group of three close neighbours. Plus, I’ve nailed up signs on the trees to warn the squirrels, birds, raccoons, deer, etc. not to break protocol and to maintain strict social distancing!

No more sharing of salt licks, deer! And squirrels, stop squabbling and chasing each other up and down the trees!

Birds, remember: only ONE at a time at the bird feeder!

But while the wild creatures can romp freely and naturally, sometimes adherence to the correct social response can create awkward situations for us humans.

Last week at Save On a woman who was coming up the aisle behind me with her cart paused and asked anxiously, “Is it OK if we pass each other?”

I thought for a moment, and then replied, “I think it will be all right as long as our carts don’t engage in inappropriate touching.”

Since hugging, hand shaking, and such have been banned, perhaps we should adapt a different form of greeting: ladies should curtsey, and gentlemen should bow.

A much more elegant form of expression, and quite acceptable under COVID-19 doily drill.

There are even websites with demonstrations on how to properly perform these movements!

These studies would provide useful practice for when the restrictions are eased, and we can at last shake off our inhibitions, powder our wigs, and take ourselves to the ball!

Mary Desmond

Shawnigan Lake


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