Sarah Simpson column: The best Halloween night treat

I wanted to know more about the mysterious young messenger so I emailed him back.

From reading through the various neighbourhood pages on Facebook, it sounds like it was a relatively quiet Halloween with well behaved kids and polite, interactive teens. People will always complain about fireworks, and there will always be at least one dumpster fire and/or police incident, but generally, there was nothing really notable to report.

From my own experience, way too few people handed out candy that was not suitable for younger kids and that was a bummer for me personally. I only had to confiscate one piece of gum from my two-year-old’s collection. Honestly, I was looking forward to accumulating a bit of a stash of my own.

“Oh no Sweety Baby, that Tootsie Roll will yank your tiny teeth right out of your head. Mommy better have that one.…”

You get the idea.

(I don’t really need their chocolate. I’m smart enough to keep a supply of emergency chocolate hidden in the freezer. Please don’t tell my family.).

Anyway, two days after the Big Night, we got an email at work from a lovely Cobble Hill retiree.

Robert Boyne’s message was a little less than 30 words long but the attached photo speaks volumes, as tends to happen with photos of things.

Boyne’s email said the following:

“October 31st 2018. I was the ‘candy-man’ at our house. A young girl gave me this envelope with a message inside. A first for me and I am touched.

That’s it.

The little girl’s message was even sweeter. In her own words (and spelling) it said:

“Thank you for taking the time to give candy to every kid who tric or treats. I am verry greatful for having yo in my neighbourhood.”

So what if she forgot the “u” in you, the kid spelled neighbourhood right! That’s a tricky one.

I wanted to know more about the mysterious young messenger so I emailed him back.

Mr. Boyne’s response cracked me up because it started off with him saying: “I fear that this will not be much help,” before following up with a play-by-play of the entire evening’s events, complete with a timeline.

“‘She Who Must Be Obeyed’ retired to the TV room with her brother to watch ‘Mary Berry’s Britain’s Best Home Cook’ while she recorded the running total of tykes arriving on our doorstep, as I called out the numbers,” he began.

“The costumed darlings started around 5.15 p.m. while it was still light and mainly finished by 8.13 p.m.,” he said. “They came in waves almost as if a mini bus pulled up to our street. The largest grouping was 17 and the grand total was 76 plus one dog, who was having a great time.”

Boyne did note “a last straggler” at precisely 8.47 p.m.

Overall, he, too, was impressed with everyone’s manners.

“All the participants were unfailingly polite with chants of ‘Happy Halloween’ and ‘Thank You’, and appreciative comments from their guardians,” Boyne said.

“I loved the earlier small children, some who wanted to walk into the house for a visit and others who insisted on choosing their own mini candy bars,” he added.

(Boyne did note he picked the kind he liked best in case there were any left. That’s my kinda guy….)

The one trick-or-treater I wondered about, however, remains a bit of a mystery.

“I’m sorry that I cannot answer your questions about the bearer of the envelope as it was dropped into my candy bowl during yet another wave of outstretched hands and the filling of pails and loot bags for excited, chattering children,” he admitted.

All he knows was she came sometime between 7:30 and 8 p.m.

Whoever you are, young lady, just know your kind gesture was a way better treat for Mr. Boyne than anything else collected on Halloween night.

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