How about a safe alcohol consumption site, with pint glasses?
A friend of mine and I have been discussing social and community issues for a while now, and we have recently concluded that we are being served an injustice. We have decided that not nearly enough public funding (your tax dollars) are being allocated towards our needs. Too long have we been forced to drink our beer that we pay for, in apartments and houses that we pay for. For goodness sake, I am living in an apartment that I pay for as a result of going to work! That’s absurd!
I’m writing this letter to run it by you, the people, before we take it to our municipal, provincial, then federal governments.
We demand a safe alcohol consumption site. We feel like the governments should collectively spend millions of dollars to build, and pay to employ trained medical professionals, to operate safe alcohol consumptions sites. We want a safe place (not a bar because thats my money I would be spending!). We also think the government (you) should pay for our beer. We also feel like we should be able to walk into a building (that you also pay for) and be given as many red plastic draught beer cups as we want, whenever we want, even though we will only use one or two, and the rest will end up in lakes and rivers and parks In fact, we should probably just ask for glass pint glasses because that will make a much more dangerous mess for everyone else that is just trying to go about their daily lives. Then make you pay to clean up our mess at your great personal and financial expense! We deserve it; just give us 50 pint glasses per day, we will use two, then smash the rest on a sidewalk in front of a school, or a church. Then we will come back tomorrow for 50 more! Because that makes perfect sense.
And be advised that when you eventually pay for these facilities, we will complain. We will complain that you won’t let us smoke cigarettes in these facilities (or whatever problem we see fit to complain about), so we will just go to a park anyway, and smash our glass pint glasses specifically in the most populated places where children gather, but not before we cause a massive disturbance to the entire neighbourhood first!
We also feel like the police should just ignore us; who cares if 300 drunk people are just wandering around the streets all day and night, every day and night, looking for things to steal? Why would that bother anyone?
It’s been far too long since us hard working, beer drinking, individuals have been able to just sit back and let everyone else take care of our needs. It’s time for our government to step up and start pulling their weight.
Now, doesn’t that sound absolutely ridiculous? Huh? But it sounds so familiar.